superstitious

i wish i were one of those "Friday the 13th is my favorite day" kind of people... but i am not.  Today has been one helluva day for the following reasons :

• i woke up late
• the heater in my house has gone out and it was 49 degrees
• my hair would NOT do right
• i had to finish packing up for my trip this weekend
• i felt ungodly nauseous
• drove all the way to work feeling nauseous
• was so nauseous i couldnt eat breakfast
• my nausea got the best of me at work (vom!)
• when i finally got my appetite back, i had someone pick up chick-fil-a for me and the retards in the drive thru gave me a spicy biscuit instead of regular :(
• it has been retarded busy (but obviously not busy enough for me not to blog)
• had to drive my coworker to the doctor on my lunch break because she fell and bruised/strained/pulled some sort of muscle/rib/back
• now i have to drive 4 hours to Columbia, SC.

on a good note, i get to see all of my best friends at Brittney's wedding this weekend :) can.not.wait.

i know there will be tons of champagne, tequila, wine, beer and shots involved. i know that there are sure to be a million laughs over all of our millions of inside jokes.  im positive there will be screams involved.  there will also be tears, of joy (seeing BT walk down the aisle) and sadness (leaving everyone again).  we will make plans to have more frequent reunions (most of which will fall thru, though i wish they wouldnt) and we will stay up all hours of the night. just like old times.

i cant wait to catch up with all of my favorite people from college.  while everyone i know is getting married, this is the first wedding where everyone i want to see is invited. and im ecstatic over it.  updates/pictures to follow, that im also sure of.

see ya never.

2011 was a monumental year, to say the least.

 some great times:

* driving around all of metro atlanta (and then some) scooping up friends from rando's houses on New Years Day

* Mardi Gras 2k11, one of the best times with 2 of the best friends.  And i didnt get anything stolen this year (besides my dignity of course)

*Carolina Cup, adult style.  at least pretend-adult style. 

*The night following Carolina Cup.  Picture this: hotel room; Caroline, Katie and me; up until 5 am watching "strange sex" on TLC.

*met some of the best people in atlanta.  while ive always loved this city, i love it even more now that i have great friends.

*Jess' wedding.  one of the most gorgeous weddings ive been to, with even better looking  friends.  always thankful for my friends getting married so i have an excuse to reunite with the girls. and drink an abundance of champagne and tequila.

*a new house, that i love. a new roommate, who i love more than the house. and my roommates family that i love even more than the roommate and the house combined.

*Hawaii.  spending 7 days with my dad, step mom and little brother in paradise. 

*Charleston to visit my best friend for his deployment briefing. 

*turning 24.  a very significant birthday.  and i needed it oh so badly.

Some not so great times:

*a puppy chewing up my brand new Louis Vuitton (17 days old to be exact). and having to wait 5 weeks for it to be repaired.

*$800 stolen from my checking account via paypal

*a ticket for getting in the left turn lane before it was technically a turn lane. bastard cop.

*missing my older brother while vacationing in paradise

*a few too many drunken embarrassing moments.

*a few too many hangovers.

*a long, long. longgg (in a bad way) summer.

Surprisingly, i am grateful for every one of these moments, and the ones that werent significant enough to list. 

for 2012 i hope for:

*driving around Metro Atlanta (and then some) picking up friends from rando's houses on New Years Day (it makes for good stories)

*another wedding, another reunion with my college girlfriends.  always a blast when theyre around.

*Mardi Gras 2k12. hopefully with even more friends this year

*a trip to Vegas for my 25th birthday

*a trip to abroad. because while Hawaii is nice, Europe is fabulous.

*a trip to California to watch my cousin get married.

*a larger number in my savings account (new years resolutions, maybe?)

*a small number on the scale (another potential resolution)

*take a lot of pictures

*more time spent on myself

*more time spent on others who need it

*more time spent with God

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

junk mail.

i have a bit of a confession. i am a hoarder. and not in the "i buy dog food and dont even have a dog" kind of way... but in the "i may need/want this again" kind of way. i can not watch Hoarders on TV. it gives me an anxiety attack (which is another psychological disorder that i suffer from) just watching those people knowing that i have the same tendencies. on a much small scale, of course, but still. if it comes on TV i change the channel immediately. if someone else is watching it, i will leave the room. i can not and will not have anything to do with it.

i dont throw away cards. ever. even the stupid ones that random people give me and dont even write a thoughtful message in them. they are all stashed away in random closets, boxes, drawers, storage tubs, school bags, etc. in various houses might i add. (my mom HATES this).

every compartment in my wallet is busting at the zipper/clasp with receipts, notes i write myself, expired coupons that i knew id never use but thought about at one point, etc.

inside my extremely large purse is the following:

• wallet
• speeding ticket
• empty Tupperware
• makeup bag
• 3 pill bottles (2 of Tylenol)
• sunglasses
• party shades
• 3d glasses from the Lion King 3D
• 2 hotel room keys (no, im not on vacation anymore)
• contact solution
• valet tickets
• 2 envelopes
• 11 koozies. yes, eleven.
• trash (gum wrappers, hang tags from clothes, crumbled up paper, a wrapper from the cookie place at the mall, crumbes from said cookie, etc)

you'd think that at some point, id clean out this purse of mine. but no, i wont. and not because im a messy person, but because in the future i may need one of these things. and i dont want to be caught without it. what a shame that i begged for so long for this glorious Louis Vuitton, finally got it for Christmas, and now junk up. all because i hoard.

the biggest problem that comes from my hoarding is my stacks upon stacks of mail that pile up. it drives every roommate ive ever had insane. i get the mail, flip through it, open up what i need to open and stack it, along with the junk mail that i dont need to open/never will, in some random place usually in the kitchen. sometimes it ends up in the dining room or living room, but usually in the kitchen. i cant throw it out because i may need it. i may want to go back and read it one day, i may forget how much i owe on my credit cards or how much to pay the cable company (even though i pay all my bills online). i refuse to sign up for e-statements because i need to have it physically in my hands. even though i will never open it.

Natalie is the only roommate who dealt with my issues proactively. sometimes she would sit me down and go through each individual piece and determine (along with my help) what went in the "toss" or "keep" pile. and other times, she would wait until i was out of the house and throw it all away without me knowing.

this problem floods over in to my email, as well. i keep all of the emails that family send me. i have a folder for it. i keep every picture emailed to me. i keep expired coupon codes. i keep old travel confirmations. everything. except junk email. i am subscribed to approximately 25 daily/weekly emails. they drive me bananas. i wake up every morning with at least 17. most of which are daily deal sites (groupon, living social) but a lot of which are style related (the Zoe report, OpenSky, HauteLook).

today, i unsubscribed to 4 of those daily emails. i feel like a hippo has been removed from standing on my shoulders. maybe tomorrow i will go through my purse.

but probably not.

in other news: i got my wisdom teeth out (the most miserably awkward feeling. ever.) and i bought this Michael Kors watch.  which is a mens watch, and i love it 10 times more because of it.

home is where my mama is

finally have a second to sit and relax for the first time since Monday of last week. Tuesday i took bethany to the dry bar for a fabulous blow out for her birthday. I got the Cosmo-Tai which outlasted the tsunami-like rain that started while we were in the salon, my rough sleeping habits, an entire work day, a 5 hour drive to sumter and a long, and i mean LONG night at the bar. i cant wait for my next appointment for NYE!

the Cosmo Tai and the Southern Comfort

anyone who knows me knows that i have 4 favorite holidays. they are as followed, in no particular order: christmas, my birthday, black friday and thanksgiving eve. i'm not much of a thanksgiving dinner person, cant stand turkey and not a fav of homemade mac and cheese, cranberry slime stuff or stuffing. but thanksgiving eve? THAT is where its at. anyone from a small town gets my drift. its the one night of the year where everyone is in town visiting family for a holiday, but isnt obligated to spend the night before with them (ie christmas eve) . everyone goes out to the same bar, spends 15 minutes screaming and jumping up and down while reuniting with all of their old friends and then spends the rest of the night pretending to care about the people they arent really friends with:

"Oh my God! Heyyy"
"Hey! you look great!"
"so do you, how have you been?"
"ive been great"
*insert the typical "im doing better than you" comment (engaged, married, new baby, great job,etc)*
"wow! congrats...well, i need to grab another drink!"

and then you run back to your real friends and gossip about the person you awkwardly pretended to be interested in for the past 3 minutes. its the best bar night of the year. the past 2 years ive gotten to brag to everyone that i live in atlanta-a fabulous city, in a fabulous house with a fabulous job and a fabulous social life. none of which is true, of course, but none of these people have lived in atlanta. they know now better ;)


Black Friday was everything i wanted it to be and more. we were the first in line, of course. we got to the base at 6:30 pm. reclining tailgating chairs, approx 7 blankets, the laptop, scarves, gloves, hats, jackets, leggings, tights, 4 shirts, sweat pants, 2 pairs of socks and uggs. we watched movies all night, facebooked, took funny pictures and laughed about how big of idiots we were. until 4 am, when we were allowed in the store to start shopping. i was finally in bed at 7 am (12 1/2 hours).

of course i only got 3 hours of sleep before the little cousins were screaming at me to get up and play with them. i spent the rest of my afternoon visiting 2 of my very best friends from college, Susie and Berma and my favorite little boy in the world, Kelton. even if he does want nothing to do with Aunt Whitney now, he'll appreciate me one day. i will be the one to spoil him :) Berma leaves next month for Afghanistan. who would've thought my little bermski would grow up to be a parajumper?? not i

Theres something about being back at the beach that makes me slip right back in to my old college ways. black out nights, random incidents and waking up the next morning saying "what happened?". wouldnt change it for anything, but i cant handle it in large doses anymore. I spent my saturday at the beauty shop catching up on the gossip from my BFF and hairdresser, eating grouchos with 2 of my favorite people in the world and sleeping on the couch while mom decorated the tree. Normally, i celebrate the Carolina/Clemson game with all of my friends in columbia, but this year i watched it with mom and D and wouldnt have had it any other way. man, how things have changed.

Sunday was spent changing my license plate to a georgia one (one of the saddest moments of my life), shopping, shooting guns and shopping for guns,and driving of course. lots of driving. i decided to make a detour on my 6 hour drive through Marion to see charles. we rode dirt roads, shot guns and ate zaxbys. thats what small towns are made of. needless to say, i didnt get home until midnight.

i was exhausted at work today, but it was totes worth the entire 4 day weekend. cant wait for christmas!

update: just received this tweet from courtney. #duh, how could i forget?

      @cldaless: lies. you have 3 other fav holidays which def rank higher in importance...  The 4th, cinco and st pattys! #whatiswrongwithyou

Thanks for knowing me so well, court. sorry i gave you heart attack at lunch <3

diets and holidays

diets:at work, the 5 of us who work in the branch decided to go on a weight loss plan.  Don't ask me why i went along with this, because we all know that while i want to be skinny with a bangin body i will never actually put effort in to it.  i'm more of a 'spray tan abs' than a 'washboard abs' kind of girl.  even though these pictures all make me wish otherwise:

  

instead, this will always be me:

so we started using myfitnesspal.com to keep track of our food/calorie intake.  Its pretty disturbing to see how many calories are in everything that i eat.  im not really a fan of nutritional facts.  i try my very hardest to keep my hand covering them while scarfing down my box of pepper jack cheez-its.  im only allowed 1200 calories a day and don't you worry-- i eat every single one of them (even though i believe the point is to eat less). good news though: diet coke has zero calories. which is good, because i drink about 4 of them a day.

so i have to lose 7 lbs by January 3rd (the first day back to work in the new year).  i will do this, even if i have to resort to starving myself and taking laxatives. wish me luck?

holidays:its that time of year again, i can hardly believe that a week from this very second i will be celebrating my second favorite holiday of the year black friday (second only to mardi gras, of course)

i wasn't going to be able to go home to south carolina for thanksgiving this year, and i spent many-a-hour crying over it.  to the point where i made my entire family rearrange their holiday plans so that we could celebrate "fakesgiving" the weekend before.  its not missing thanksgiving that bothers me, its actually missing thanksgiving night and the friday after that upsets me so much.  Kristi, Mark and I have been camping out every thanksgiving night for the past few years.  we get to the base (the BX is our favorite place to start!) around 8:00 pm Thursday night and we camp out. in the cold. the freezing cold.  We always find ourselves scrounging through the kids scarves/gloves/beanies right as we're leaving the house and we layer upon layer upon layer clothes.  We sit in uncomfortable tailgating chairs while sleeping bags and blankets cover us.  we snuggle up next to each other for body heat and try to get at least 20 minutes of sleep in (never works).  We collect tickets for the big items (usually TVs and laptops) and we eat $1 burger king sausage biscuits that they BX workers sell and drink hot chocolate that starts off too hot to drink and within 3 minutes is freezing cold.  Then, once the doors open at 6 am, we run inside and grab everything that we dont have tickets for.  We lose each other in the store a couple times and about 3 hours later we submerge from the wreckage a few electronic items richer.  oh, and FYI- i never buy anything. i got for the hell of it. if you weren't sure of it before, i must be certifiably insane. 

i got the great news 2 weeks ago that i would be able to have black friday off, which means i get to go home and celebrate with my family.  not that i dont love atlanta, i just dont want to be here over a holiday without my favorite people. and so the countdown begins! i'll be in sumter Wednesday night.  And everyone whose ever graduated HS from a small town and went away to college knows that the night before thanksgiving is the biggest bar night of the year.  can't wait to see all of my friends again (and their husbands. because 79% of them are married now).

New Years is coming up!  Within the last 24 hours i have solidified my plans.  3 of my best girl friends from home are coming to visit!  Park Tavern better be fun for the amount of mula i had to spend on a ticket to get in.  i just keep rationalizing the cost with free alcohol and krispy kreme doughnuts.  more importantly are the doughnuts, but im sure to drink the $100 worth of free alcohol. plus, we'll be extra hot thanks to the Dry Bar!  Blowouts are my new obsession.  who wouldn't want to have someone else shampoo & style their hair?! and for only $35, sign me up as a frequent member ASAP.  plus they have these great things called "floaters" which are scalp massages.  and everyone knows there is nothing better than a good scalp massage.  Also, all of the styles are named after drinks which is probably the number 1 reason that this place appeals to me so much.  i do believe the Southern Comfort will be my NYE 'do!

fraud.

this past weekend was probably one of the more stressful ones in my life.  i woke up friday morning like normal, got ready and drove to work.  While i was on I75 heading to Marietta i picked up my lovely little iphone and went to check my bank account, only to realize that $678.98 was missing out of my account via a PayPal Transfer.  the things that went thru my mind at that very second:

• What in the hell did i buy for $678.98 and why don't i remember it?
• did my rent check somehow go thru PayPal? no way
• oh shit, my rent check bounced! there's another $35 NSF fee
• i haven't used PayPal since my ebay phase 2 years ago (many many Hello Kitty watches were a result of this)
• HOLY SHIT what am i going to do?
• the tears running down my face are ruining my makeup
•  you mean i still have to go to work today?
• great, i will have no money to do anything this weekend
• my makeup is officially ruined.
• my head hurts from crying already
• damnit, shit always happens to me.
• call. mom. now!

now, i am 24 and single and broke anyways, but when basically 700 goes missing out of my bank account for something that i didn't buy, im really broke. 

ill spare you the annoying 12 hour long story that ive told 73 times, but basically after 8 hours of back and forth BS between me and my bank, me and paypal, my bank and paypal, etc. i finally got someone on the phone that was willing to help me out.  it took 3 days, but they refunded my money.

sure hope that jackass in memphis is enjoying his new apple products.

so after that debacle on friday all i wanted to do was sleep.  drink and sleep. and im not talking the party kind of drinking, but instead the "cry to myself alone on my couch guzzling wine" kind of drinking.  so that is what i did. after an interesting meal at a korean bbq place with a co-worker, of course.  i woke up saturday completely refreshed and ready to start the day. eyes swollen shut and all.  saturday night, i wanted to do nothing.  nothing but watch a sappy movie, and sleep. so i watched Dear John (which ive seen approx 103 times) and cried, like i always do.  sunday was spent cleaning, going to church and spending 3 hours trying to figure out what time it actually was.  I was convinced that my phone didn't change the time automatically, and neither did Direct TV.  after hours of confusion i finally though to myself "oh hey, look at the stove and add an hour".  come to find out, Direct Tv and my phone did in fact change automatically.  waste of 3 hours.

its a 4 day work week, which always excites me.  it means i only have 4 days of resetting my alarm for 5 minutes later, then finally forcing myself to get out of bed, spending 30 minutes to figure out what to wear and half way smile throughout the day.  it also means i have a 3 day weekend.  which is even more exciting than a 4 day work week.

2 of my BFFs are coming to atlanta this weekend (if they dont flake out on me, Caroline and Tiffany!!!) there is sure to be a lot of stories to come of this (many of which i can't disclose on the interenet). and also the 2 precious girls that i watched throughout college will be in Buckhead visiting family so i get to see them as well!! i love them so much and cant wait to hug and kiss and love and embarrass them in front of an entire restaurant. 
UPDATE (11/09/11 2:15 PM): 1 FRIEND HAS FLAKED OUT

here's to hoping no one steals anything from me this weekend.







powerball.

tonight, while discussing the unbelievably crude house guests that invited their way into my house with my neighbor/friend, Ashley, we got on the topic of what we would do if we won the powerball lottery. its up to $245 millions. let me make that clear-- $245,000,000.00.

so in this order:

first thing i would do- call my mom. im not sure i would be able to tell her what happened because i would be hysterical and vomiting from excitement the entire time but i would still dial her number. or at least have someone else dial them, as im sure my hands will be too shaky. Once i was able to breathe, i would tell her to stop. stop right where she was and sit down. i would explain to her that i am a multi millionaire and that there is no longer a need to work. she can call her boss and say "shove it". and then i would ask how much they owed on their house and write them a check.

second, id drive my jeep grand cherokee right down the road to the car dealership. i'd pay in full for the following:

2012 Mercedes C Class, black.

2012 Range Rover, white with italian leather camel colored seats. fully loaded.

2012 Bentley convertible, in cafe'.

the third thing i would do would be to hire a driver to drive me everywhere. Then, i would use the blue tooth feature in my new car to call up Rachel Zoe's camp and get her on the next flight to wherever she wanted to meet me to take me shopping/style me.

i die.

fourth, i would call work and say as much as i enjoyed working for them it will no longer be necessary for me to survive. but that id love to buy some stock in the bank.

fifth id buy a private plane. then, id put my dad's 30 years worth of fighter-pilot-ness to good use. id hire him as my private pilot to fly my private plane. the first place id take this plan would to be Sumter. not glamorous, i know, but id march my happy millionairess ass to my grandparents house and pack up all of their stuff and move them to a fabulous house somewhere fabulous away from dead beat uncles and old bedroom suits (not that i dont love their furniture :) ) While i was in Sumter id drive on over to my aunt and uncles and have them pack up all of their stuff and load it in the brand new car i bought them (because the mini van HASTAGO!). id move them to the mountain house that i bought. i'll hire them to be the property managers of all of my vacation houses (listed below)

St Johns for the beaches

Vail for the skiing (even though i hate to ski)

Las Vegas because its my favorite place on earth

Charleston, SC because its the closest to home with fabulous houses

New Orleans, for my favorite holiday of the year-- mardi gras!

sixth-- buy a mansion on W. Paces Ferry, because i love atlanta but i'd love it much more if i lived here:

i'd allow all of my friends to move in and live for free, until i get married at least. id buy every animal ive ever wanted and hire a zookeeper to help take care of them while i'm off jetsetting around the world. horses, camels, elephants, tigers, lions, zebras, monkeys, cats, dogs, ferrets, flying squirrels, peacocks, etc.

seventh- id ask my brother where/what he wants to live/do and make it happen. with one condition, of course. it has to be closer to me than LA (NYC, ATL, etc).

and finally, eighth, i would do the sensible thing and pay off every bit of debt my parents, grandparents,aunt/uncle,brother and myself have racked up and then invest/put away a VERY LARGE portion of the winnings. and then i would live off of that for the rest of my rich, rich life.

im sure there are plenty more things i would pick up along the way, but these are obviously the most important.

now, i have to go to sleep. seeing as i got zero hours last night due to the most inconsiderate people i've ever encountered. xoxo