seventy.

This means nothing to y'all.. and EVERYTHING to me.  I have

days until i am lounging on these beaches:





and snorkeling in this bay

and shopping in this district

enjoying the most amazing climate in the heart of paradise.

 

70 days until i am on a plane to Honolulu, Oahu HI

72 days until i am on a plane (if you can call it that) to Maui, HI

76 days until i am on that same small plane back to Honolulu

& 80 days until i am on a plane back to the A, starting the countdown for my next vacation.

My dad lives in Japan, and it is oh so convenient that halfway for us to meet is in Hawaii. I've never been to another tropical island, so as far as I'm concerned Hawaii is the creme de la creme.

the perfect temperatures, combined with the mountain mist that seems to fall just as youre getting too hot.

the soft sand and green/blue waters

the smell. oh that smell. the second you walk off of the airplane (on the tarmac) you get an instant whiff of citrusy,floraly,salty,misty amazingness.

thats right. it is paradise. and i will be there in 70 days.

final warning.

alright, here it is.  your final warning.  if any of you think i am kidding, you don't know me at all.

tonight starts the Bachelorette.  which to any one else may just be a show, but to me it is life.  i eat/sleep/breathe all things Bachelor/Ette/Pad. And this season is extraordinarily special to me.  Because it's Emily's season.  and, well, to say I want to be her would be an understatement. 

 i have watched this show, every. single. episode. of it since its creation where I fell in love with Trista.  I have witnessed Bob's promiscuity. i watched countless girls have anxiety attacks after night 1. I despised Trish but fell in love with her "Golddigger: like a hooker, only smarter" t-shirt.

i commended Brad for not choosing either girl if he didn't feel it. I was disgusted to find out that Byron the fisherman was abusive towards Mary, until i found out she was a raging alcoholic.

Still to this day i watch the Drs so that I can get a glimpse of Dr. Travis Stork again.

 i yelled at Deanna for choosing ugly snowboarder Jesse; i screamed even louder when Jake chose Vienna over sweet sweet Tenley but then celebrated when Kiptyn and Tenley became "KipTen". i loved Michael and his breakdancing skills, but understood why Jillian had to let him go. I could've killed Jason for humiliating Melissa on live tv and flip flopping back to Molly.  i laughed at Michelle Money's flying monkey comments. i called JP winning from night one with the cupcake conversation and yawned all the way through Ben's season. I contemplated going to Charleston this past weekend to see if i could get a glimpse of Peyton and Chris' wedding. I made my roommate drive to Cumming, GA to eat at Giorgio's (Constantine's family restaurant) when Mickey and Ben were in town visiting. ($72 dollars for a plated meal and 2 pictures later, Ben gave me his card with his number on it.  I never called, out of fear of rejection, im sure.  what was i thinking, i cant STAND ben!).

one might say i'm obssesed. i prefer passionate.

So what is it that I am warning you of, you ask? if one single jackass of a person ruins this season for me, i will do things so inhumane to them. The past couple of seasons people have found a way to finagle their annoying spoilers in to my life.  via facebook status, tweets, buying the gossip magazine and plopping it on my coffee table and *the worst!!* last year- my roommate flat out telling me because she didnt want to be the only one it was ruined for.  so i'm warning you. once and for all. if so much as one person tells me even a HINT of who wins this season, i'm cutting you out of my life.  thats right: de-friended, unfollowed, univited to be in my presence.  just because you want to know, please--  i beg you Dear God, do NOT ruin this for me.  as a very recent breakup has caused me to venture back in to my singledom, its the only thing i live for on monday nights.

consider yourself warned.

xoxo

fake it till you make it.

maybe its true, maybe you really can "fake it till you make it".  maybe you can tell yourself, over and over and over, that you feel a certain way until it just becomes reality.  Playing pretend isn't just for children anymore, apparently.  You want something so badly you can taste, feel, hear, smell it.  You convince yourself that whatever it is, its really happening.  You lie to yourself consistently until you believe your own tales.

I guess this could work in your favor, but i think that eventually it will come to bite you in the ass.  that feeling that you forced, the person you made yourself become, it will eat away at you until you have to face the facts.  the cold hard truth.  and at that point, it may be too late. you may have made others believe your lies too. so what started out as a strong desire for something you didnt have, now turned in to deceit. and nobody likes a fraud.

moral of the story- be honest. to everyone, but especially to yourself.