final warning.

alright, here it is.  your final warning.  if any of you think i am kidding, you don't know me at all.

tonight starts the Bachelorette.  which to any one else may just be a show, but to me it is life.  i eat/sleep/breathe all things Bachelor/Ette/Pad. And this season is extraordinarily special to me.  Because it's Emily's season.  and, well, to say I want to be her would be an understatement. 

 i have watched this show, every. single. episode. of it since its creation where I fell in love with Trista.  I have witnessed Bob's promiscuity. i watched countless girls have anxiety attacks after night 1. I despised Trish but fell in love with her "Golddigger: like a hooker, only smarter" t-shirt.

i commended Brad for not choosing either girl if he didn't feel it. I was disgusted to find out that Byron the fisherman was abusive towards Mary, until i found out she was a raging alcoholic.

Still to this day i watch the Drs so that I can get a glimpse of Dr. Travis Stork again.

 i yelled at Deanna for choosing ugly snowboarder Jesse; i screamed even louder when Jake chose Vienna over sweet sweet Tenley but then celebrated when Kiptyn and Tenley became "KipTen". i loved Michael and his breakdancing skills, but understood why Jillian had to let him go. I could've killed Jason for humiliating Melissa on live tv and flip flopping back to Molly.  i laughed at Michelle Money's flying monkey comments. i called JP winning from night one with the cupcake conversation and yawned all the way through Ben's season. I contemplated going to Charleston this past weekend to see if i could get a glimpse of Peyton and Chris' wedding. I made my roommate drive to Cumming, GA to eat at Giorgio's (Constantine's family restaurant) when Mickey and Ben were in town visiting. ($72 dollars for a plated meal and 2 pictures later, Ben gave me his card with his number on it.  I never called, out of fear of rejection, im sure.  what was i thinking, i cant STAND ben!).

one might say i'm obssesed. i prefer passionate.

So what is it that I am warning you of, you ask? if one single jackass of a person ruins this season for me, i will do things so inhumane to them. The past couple of seasons people have found a way to finagle their annoying spoilers in to my life.  via facebook status, tweets, buying the gossip magazine and plopping it on my coffee table and *the worst!!* last year- my roommate flat out telling me because she didnt want to be the only one it was ruined for.  so i'm warning you. once and for all. if so much as one person tells me even a HINT of who wins this season, i'm cutting you out of my life.  thats right: de-friended, unfollowed, univited to be in my presence.  just because you want to know, please--  i beg you Dear God, do NOT ruin this for me.  as a very recent breakup has caused me to venture back in to my singledom, its the only thing i live for on monday nights.

consider yourself warned.

xoxo