unsend.

my iphone is my life.

even on its slowest of days,

even though its a petty 3g,

even though i have it jailbroken to work with t-mobile

it is my right hand man, always attached to my right hand.



it keeps me in contact with the outside world

it allows me to stay up to date on the latest celebrity gossip

it is the primary source of all of my social networking.

what can't it do? (besides give me the winning lotto numbers)

it cant unsend texts.

damn you apple geniuses.

i'm not asking for a miracle here, just an option to unsend a text that has yet to be read.

we've all done it:

you go out with the girls,

 have a little too much to drink and spill your guts.

youre having an "i hate being single" day.

you start to indulge in a sappy movie and a bowl (or gallon) of ice cream and you text your ex.

all of your girlfriends are spending friday night with their boyfriends

you have a bottle of wine and

BAM.

out of nowhere you catch yourself hitting send.

your cat just isnt cutting it anymore.

you miss the feeling of a human snuggling next to you in bed.

you reach over, grab your phone off of the nightstand and

make a mistake that will haunt your dreams that night

in a perfect world

you would have about 30 seconds to hit UNSEND,

erasing every evidence of the text, and

in my experience, the first 30 seconds are the most regretful.

you know instantly that it was a bad decision.

so, steve- apple's angel,

thats all im asking for. 30 seconds.

or maybe this app:

Moral of the Story

think before you type.

road trip thoughts

i spent the past weekend in Myrtle Beach for a sorority sister's wedding.  While traveling the 6 hour drive back to Atlanta, I had a conversation that went something like this:

me: how in the world do these 2 people know they want to spend FOREVER with each other?

jess: i dont know, i guess you just know

me: but what if you think you know and you dont actually know, and then 20 years down the road (or worse 20 months!) you find out you didnt know at all, like not even close to knowing! i mean i think i know that my favorite food is mexican, but then i go through stages where all i want to eat is sushi.

i am so envious of people who can make decisions.. like those that have known since they were 3 that they wanted to be a heart surgeon; or those who can't imagine life without being at the front of a classroom.  y'all, there are some people who actually go to school to become something specific! who are those people and how do they get there?! I chose my major because it was the easiest degree at the time. Sociology interested me, but most importantly it only required one math and one science. and lets get real, i went in as undeclared, switched to education and then settled on sociology.

The only conclusion i can come to is that i can't decide on anything.

whats my favorite color?

 *crickets* at the moment i like coral and mint and turquoise. 

 but a year ago i loved purple and yellow and tangerine.  

City life or country girl?  

Can't i have both?!  

i love living in the city but miss the smell of burning leaves and fresh cut grass.

type of music? 

im a big fan of country, but 90s also has a special place in my heart. 

and then there's pop- who doesnt love Britney, Gaga and Katy?

what's my style?

depends on the day. sometimes i am preppy (see also: Lilly, J Crew, Polo, Vineyard Vines, monogrammed everything)

but i love everything on-the-verge/trendy

i can also be a bit of a hipster at times

and what girl doesnt love a sequenced glam mini dress?

type of guy?

i always thought i was attracted to "fratty" guys.

then came along the good ol' boy (aka country man)

and most recently i fell for a metro. thats right, someone who puts product in his hair, gets pedicures and drinks out of straws.

dream job?

anything to do with fashion. 

but id also love to do philanthropy work. 

of course, i always wanted to be a hair dresser. 

and then theres social work (what i got my degree for)

so who am i and what in the world do i want to do/be when i grow up? 

that is the question of the hour.  

and with an upcoming 25th birthday; i feel as if i better answer it sooner than later. 

can't i like rainbows? have a country home and a high-rise penthouse? sing along with Luke Bryan but dance to Poker Face?

xoxo.

lease-end

what a difference a year makes. 
most people recap their year around January 1st. however, still stuck in college mode (will i ever grow up?)
 i recap mine at lease-end and on this very day last year i was cleaning out my old apartment,
 saying goodbye to Natalie for good and hello to Buckhead, my new stomping grounds.

I was getting ready to leave for hawaii

and little did I know, but i was about to endure one of the roughest times in my life.

but the good news is that, in the last year, i made some of the best friends i couldve asked for

i spent a lot of time with my family. even though its never enough.

i had some pretty insignificant relationships, and the most significant one thus far.

i learned a lot in a year's time.

ive learned that i can get through anything

i learned that there is no better person in this world than my mom

and I learned that with my faith in God, and my mom's faith in me.. anything is possible

in the next year
i will try my hardest to spend even more time with family.
i with strengthen not only my relationship with friends and with God, but with myself.
i will put more energy in to being a positive influence on the world.

who knows what the next year will bring, but i do know that im excited for it- whatever it is.

xoxo.

seventy.

This means nothing to y'all.. and EVERYTHING to me.  I have

days until i am lounging on these beaches:





and snorkeling in this bay

and shopping in this district

enjoying the most amazing climate in the heart of paradise.

 

70 days until i am on a plane to Honolulu, Oahu HI

72 days until i am on a plane (if you can call it that) to Maui, HI

76 days until i am on that same small plane back to Honolulu

& 80 days until i am on a plane back to the A, starting the countdown for my next vacation.

My dad lives in Japan, and it is oh so convenient that halfway for us to meet is in Hawaii. I've never been to another tropical island, so as far as I'm concerned Hawaii is the creme de la creme.

the perfect temperatures, combined with the mountain mist that seems to fall just as youre getting too hot.

the soft sand and green/blue waters

the smell. oh that smell. the second you walk off of the airplane (on the tarmac) you get an instant whiff of citrusy,floraly,salty,misty amazingness.

thats right. it is paradise. and i will be there in 70 days.

final warning.

alright, here it is.  your final warning.  if any of you think i am kidding, you don't know me at all.

tonight starts the Bachelorette.  which to any one else may just be a show, but to me it is life.  i eat/sleep/breathe all things Bachelor/Ette/Pad. And this season is extraordinarily special to me.  Because it's Emily's season.  and, well, to say I want to be her would be an understatement. 

 i have watched this show, every. single. episode. of it since its creation where I fell in love with Trista.  I have witnessed Bob's promiscuity. i watched countless girls have anxiety attacks after night 1. I despised Trish but fell in love with her "Golddigger: like a hooker, only smarter" t-shirt.

i commended Brad for not choosing either girl if he didn't feel it. I was disgusted to find out that Byron the fisherman was abusive towards Mary, until i found out she was a raging alcoholic.

Still to this day i watch the Drs so that I can get a glimpse of Dr. Travis Stork again.

 i yelled at Deanna for choosing ugly snowboarder Jesse; i screamed even louder when Jake chose Vienna over sweet sweet Tenley but then celebrated when Kiptyn and Tenley became "KipTen". i loved Michael and his breakdancing skills, but understood why Jillian had to let him go. I could've killed Jason for humiliating Melissa on live tv and flip flopping back to Molly.  i laughed at Michelle Money's flying monkey comments. i called JP winning from night one with the cupcake conversation and yawned all the way through Ben's season. I contemplated going to Charleston this past weekend to see if i could get a glimpse of Peyton and Chris' wedding. I made my roommate drive to Cumming, GA to eat at Giorgio's (Constantine's family restaurant) when Mickey and Ben were in town visiting. ($72 dollars for a plated meal and 2 pictures later, Ben gave me his card with his number on it.  I never called, out of fear of rejection, im sure.  what was i thinking, i cant STAND ben!).

one might say i'm obssesed. i prefer passionate.

So what is it that I am warning you of, you ask? if one single jackass of a person ruins this season for me, i will do things so inhumane to them. The past couple of seasons people have found a way to finagle their annoying spoilers in to my life.  via facebook status, tweets, buying the gossip magazine and plopping it on my coffee table and *the worst!!* last year- my roommate flat out telling me because she didnt want to be the only one it was ruined for.  so i'm warning you. once and for all. if so much as one person tells me even a HINT of who wins this season, i'm cutting you out of my life.  thats right: de-friended, unfollowed, univited to be in my presence.  just because you want to know, please--  i beg you Dear God, do NOT ruin this for me.  as a very recent breakup has caused me to venture back in to my singledom, its the only thing i live for on monday nights.

consider yourself warned.

xoxo

fake it till you make it.

maybe its true, maybe you really can "fake it till you make it".  maybe you can tell yourself, over and over and over, that you feel a certain way until it just becomes reality.  Playing pretend isn't just for children anymore, apparently.  You want something so badly you can taste, feel, hear, smell it.  You convince yourself that whatever it is, its really happening.  You lie to yourself consistently until you believe your own tales.

I guess this could work in your favor, but i think that eventually it will come to bite you in the ass.  that feeling that you forced, the person you made yourself become, it will eat away at you until you have to face the facts.  the cold hard truth.  and at that point, it may be too late. you may have made others believe your lies too. so what started out as a strong desire for something you didnt have, now turned in to deceit. and nobody likes a fraud.

moral of the story- be honest. to everyone, but especially to yourself.

in the end...

things end.  its inevitable.  everything has an end to it, eventually.  as bad as it hurts, i'm learning that you just have to push on until things feel better again.  it will never be the same, i will forever be changed, but i am better because of it.  whatever it is, God would not put it in my life if he didn't think i could handle it. i can handle this. i will be ok, i will be strong, i will live.  heartbreak, while it feels like it will, wont kill me. 

and chances are, this isn't the last time i'll feel this way. its these moments who make us who we are.

its our choice on how we handle the pain. you can give in to it, or grow from it.

ive learned that God doesnt follow the plan you have for yourself, he has his own in mind.. so, roll with the punches

so when life punches you, knocks you around, gives you a big blow to the chest, causes you excruciating pain and makes you want to die:

and remember:

Because, life is not over.  it will go on, and there are new beginnings to every end.