there is no one else like you

a year ago today i was blindsided.  out of nowhere, my world was swept out from underneath me.  My faith, strength, trust and ability were all tested.  I thought my world was falling apart.  It was my very first heart break.  no one had ever broken down my walls before.  he was the one that convinced me that he was worth the risk. the one that I chose to bring home to meet my family, the guy that i pictured a life with, the person that consumed all of my time.  All of it went away with a quick and simple phone call.  followed by a million gallons of tears, a lot of late night weak/lonely moments and more arguments (internal and with each other) than i care to remember. 

it was a summer of back and forths. an early fall of "i want to, but i just cants".  months and months of "but i stills".  what seemed like an eternity of "please dont hate mes".  and then, thankfully, one October day the best thing that couldve ever happened to me, happened.  He told me he was dating someone.  don't get me wrong, at the time i thought it was the worst thing (second only to the break up), but in retrospect i realize that it was the exact opposite.  finally i was pissed. no longer sad and heartbroken, but outraged and disgusted.  That same October day, my 2 best friends gave me the exact words that i needed.  So exact, in fact, that i copied and pasted them in a text message and hit send without thinking twice.  i asked him to walk right out of my life and never look back.  i told him that i was better than him and he didnt deserve me.  all to which he agreed and obliged.  that was it.  from that point on (with the exception of a couple intoxicated texts from him) it was over. no more back and forths.

i thought that i would never find someone like him again.

Then, out of nowhere, i was blindsided again.  Only this time, instead of my world falling apart it was all falling together. i realized that the feelings i had for the last one were nothing in comparison to these feelings.  this was the person I had been in love with for years.  the man that i didnt just picture a life with, but the one that i WANTED a life with. any walls that i had built up to guard my heart from being broken were non existent. it was the easiest decision of my life. I am so thankful that I was right. I wouldn't ever find someone like him again. I found someone so very different.  i found the most respectful and respectable man, the one that fits me perfectly. the one that loves everything about me. he calls me on my shit, is comfortable with my family, knows exactly who i am and wants to take care of me forever.  I am so blessed to be with my very best friend, who is also my very best boyfriend. 

I am in constant amazement of how much can change in such a little time period.  One year ago today I thought my world was completely over.  Now i am realizing my world has just begun.